coming out of hibernation

 

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The typical bear doesn’t hibernate in the summer but I’ve never been the typical bear.

I am 55 and not entirely sure how that happened. I blinked at some point and when I look up under my shirt, where skin as smooth as a slice of cheese used to greet me, I am shocked to see something resembling goat cheese. WTH?

Goat cheese and all, I love this time of freedom and wish I had it earlier. If I could talk to my younger self, I would say to let it go.

Just Let. It. Go.

Many years ago when I was too young to appreciate it, a friend who was well into her fifties used to say…it ain’t that deep.  And that’s how I view things now.  Maybe this comes with a few miles and wrinkles but it sure would be nice if it happened earlier and saved tons of heartache and worry.

It ain’t that deep.  Now some things are deep, like this election and Matthew’s destruction in Haiti and Eastern North Carolina, but most stuff just isn’t.

Let. It. Go.

So when my insides were rumbling again to keep going on this new coaching path, I listened.  I was scared and I listened.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear” said Mark Twain.  There is certainly no absence of fear here…I am working on mastery!

Years ago, my baby daddy and I sought marriage counseling. (What do I call this first husband and our marriage? The term ex rubs me like sand paper and first marriage doesn’t sound right either. Sounds like I’m going to start stacking ‘em up like fire wood. Clueless what to call the 26 year union I began as a fresh faced, innocent 20 year old that gave me 3 delicious children and soft blanket memories that wrap around my shoulders even still, so I will just call him my baby daddy and my was marriage.)

The counseling we tried didn’t really take but the fellow was pretty awesome and I still remember the lessons he shared!  He was 80 or more with a voice smooth as butter and he won my heart.  Mr. Butter was deep in my mind for this major life decision that shook me by the tail in the heat of June.

I’ve been coaching clients for about a year now as a Duke Certified Integrative Health Coach and it fits like an old pair of jeans. It seems to fit the people gracious enough to partner along, too.

Going deeper felt right and I screwed up courage into a ball big enough to trip over going to bed at night. After a month or two of stubbing my toe, I stood on the diving board with shaking knees and dove.

I’m getting a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and am aiming for licensure.  A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)!

Go figure. If Mr. Butter was still at it at 80, I can too.  If I fail, I’ll get up.  One thing I’ve learned in my many years of failing and falling, I can get up and now I partner with folks who need a hand doing the same.

What a privilege!

This summer we had a house full of very large young-uns needing beds; I started school, coached clients and managed to get a meal or two on the table.  Blogging wasn’t going to happen so I hibernated the summer away.

This new venture will take a couple of years to complete.

I quake and tremble with a new goal and a new normal.  Some days I’m up and ready to rumble writing papers and reading textbooks; others the bed is calling my name with welcoming covers for my doubts.

Courage is not the absence of fear!

Thanks for riding along and if you have a dream, go for it. Dive forth.

You are never too old, too silly, too late in the game or too …well too anything!

As I work to fit blogging in the new day, let me know what areas of health you would like to read about.

Do you have a new venture?  A recipe, a new helpful gadget?  Let me know, let’s share together and get whole and healthy.

Good luck with your dreams.

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